I’m absolutely with you on solitude. In fact, I’m currently on my own 2-day solo retreat in a cottage by the lake. I asked for the time for this trip as my Christmas present, and my husband knows it makes me a better person to be with at home if I go. As an only child of divorced parents, I spent a lot of time on my own growing up, and I never feel alone in my own company. It feels safe and restorative.
I feel the NEED for some alone time every 2 or 3 months; 3 or 4 days usually does the trick, but I’d be happy with more.
Personally I think be happy in your in your own company is a strength, it’s not that you are running away from anything, if anything I think that’s the majority of people’s discomfort being projected.
We come into this world alone and we will leave alone; being ok, or more than ok with that is a blessing.
Can I ask which of the books you listed did you find the most helpful.
And, that photo of the cottage looks like THE ideal location.
I can resonate with so much in your newsletter today. I am currently sitting on my own having breakfast, reading Substack, this is one of my favourite alone times. Reading your post has made me realise how much I need this time, this space, it sets me up for the day.
I love your ownership and comfort in solitude, and although I have struggled in the past with ‘alone-time’ I agree that being alone doesn’t have to mean lonely! And I don’t ever imagine you as feeling lonely when you run towards solitude - at the end of the day you always have your faithful friends your ‘journal’ and ‘books’ to keep you quiet company 💖
I am slowly getting more comfortable with solitude, and even do find myself yearning for it sometimes, and reading your post has made me want to lean towards it even more ☺️ x
Aww I’m thrilled to read this Julie. All we have is NOW. I think it’s a gift that we can are able to embrace solitude even if it’s only for 5 minutes a day. Where would we be without our journal and books eh?! 😉
Such a beautiful and welcome piece for me today Tanya, thank you. I am so content with alonement (so long as I have my little dog nearby, can see trees, birds and the moon at night). My peace within solitude is hard won through divorce, loss, and living with a complex chronic illness, but I think I’ve always preferred stillness and solitude. If I was reading, walking, writing, dancing and singing even as a little girl I was happy.
I grew up in a big multi-generational family that loved parties, and I don’t. I would love to be in the cottage in the photo (I almost bought a croft on the edge of Glencoe). Controlling my environment is necessary for my health (and I love being with people too) but now after a very populated life personally and professionally, I want quiet, stillness and just space, maybe for this year, maybe for longer.
To sit quietly with another in the same room is one of life’s joys if there is total harmony but I’m not prepared to compromise on that any more. One of my favourite quotes is by Walt Whitman:
‘I exist as I am, that is enough,
If no other in the world be aware, I sit content,
If each and all be aware, I sit content
One world is aware, and by the far the largest to me,
Oh your words are like a balm for the soul. Thank you for your comment Jaime. Put the kettle on I’m coming over to sit with you in silence. You’re my kinda gal 😇
Hi Tanya, 100% with you on this! I crave alone time.. NEVER get bored of it.. NEED it in order to function and not get overwhelmed 😬 I used to have a friend who got “bored” after just five minutes of sitting still/quietly.. she always needed noise/music... to be talking or moving around, or for something to be happening ALL THE TIME! 🙄 Drove me nuts and completely drained me! 🥴😆
I’m absolutely with you on solitude. In fact, I’m currently on my own 2-day solo retreat in a cottage by the lake. I asked for the time for this trip as my Christmas present, and my husband knows it makes me a better person to be with at home if I go. As an only child of divorced parents, I spent a lot of time on my own growing up, and I never feel alone in my own company. It feels safe and restorative.
What a treat. I hope the hours are long and your writing flows in your cottage by the lake. Enjoy 💫
I am 110% with you on this.
I feel the NEED for some alone time every 2 or 3 months; 3 or 4 days usually does the trick, but I’d be happy with more.
Personally I think be happy in your in your own company is a strength, it’s not that you are running away from anything, if anything I think that’s the majority of people’s discomfort being projected.
We come into this world alone and we will leave alone; being ok, or more than ok with that is a blessing.
Can I ask which of the books you listed did you find the most helpful.
And, that photo of the cottage looks like THE ideal location.
Great post.
Thanks
Thank for your kind words Lee. I appreciate your wise words! I really enjoy books by Cal Newport, Solitude by Michael Harris was an insightful read 💫
I can resonate with so much in your newsletter today. I am currently sitting on my own having breakfast, reading Substack, this is one of my favourite alone times. Reading your post has made me realise how much I need this time, this space, it sets me up for the day.
Yes and even more enjoyable when it’s guilt free 💫😉
I love your ownership and comfort in solitude, and although I have struggled in the past with ‘alone-time’ I agree that being alone doesn’t have to mean lonely! And I don’t ever imagine you as feeling lonely when you run towards solitude - at the end of the day you always have your faithful friends your ‘journal’ and ‘books’ to keep you quiet company 💖
I am slowly getting more comfortable with solitude, and even do find myself yearning for it sometimes, and reading your post has made me want to lean towards it even more ☺️ x
Aww I’m thrilled to read this Julie. All we have is NOW. I think it’s a gift that we can are able to embrace solitude even if it’s only for 5 minutes a day. Where would we be without our journal and books eh?! 😉
I love and enjoy my time alone. And yes, I've also had to learn to adapt into that space after divorce. Thank you for sharing! It spoke to me!
Aww thank you for your kind comment Miranda. I hope the prompts sooth your soul. 😊
I need and love moments of solitude. Just me, my thoughts, and nature. 🤗
I’m definitely meeting more solitude fans this week. Lovely to be connected Olivia. Thanks for your comment 🙏
Such a beautiful and welcome piece for me today Tanya, thank you. I am so content with alonement (so long as I have my little dog nearby, can see trees, birds and the moon at night). My peace within solitude is hard won through divorce, loss, and living with a complex chronic illness, but I think I’ve always preferred stillness and solitude. If I was reading, walking, writing, dancing and singing even as a little girl I was happy.
I grew up in a big multi-generational family that loved parties, and I don’t. I would love to be in the cottage in the photo (I almost bought a croft on the edge of Glencoe). Controlling my environment is necessary for my health (and I love being with people too) but now after a very populated life personally and professionally, I want quiet, stillness and just space, maybe for this year, maybe for longer.
To sit quietly with another in the same room is one of life’s joys if there is total harmony but I’m not prepared to compromise on that any more. One of my favourite quotes is by Walt Whitman:
‘I exist as I am, that is enough,
If no other in the world be aware, I sit content,
If each and all be aware, I sit content
One world is aware, and by the far the largest to me,
And that is myself
And whether I come to my own today
Or in ten thousand years or ten million years,
I can cheerfully take it now, or with
equal cheerfulness, I can wait.
Oh your words are like a balm for the soul. Thank you for your comment Jaime. Put the kettle on I’m coming over to sit with you in silence. You’re my kinda gal 😇
See you soon! ☕️💕
Hi Tanya, 100% with you on this! I crave alone time.. NEVER get bored of it.. NEED it in order to function and not get overwhelmed 😬 I used to have a friend who got “bored” after just five minutes of sitting still/quietly.. she always needed noise/music... to be talking or moving around, or for something to be happening ALL THE TIME! 🙄 Drove me nuts and completely drained me! 🥴😆
Yay, welcome to the Solitude Club! I do believe we need more radiators and less drains in our life :)
Having walked a similar path I’ve come to cherish my time alone. I can hear myself think then! Thank you for this Cx