Permission Slips Be Damned

Embracing our power as women

You don't need permission to help people!!

Dear Friend

How are you today? I have a sprinkling of sunshine here in Cardiff today, bring it on I say. I’m desperate for another shot of Vitamin D!! After all, sunshine is life!

So, let’s consider something that’s been buzzing in my head since yesterday morning - this ingrained habit we have of seeking permission for, well, just about everything. You know what I’m trying to get across here, right? That little voice in our heads that whispers, “Should I ask first?” even when we’re doing something positive or supportive.

Here’s a little story that really brought this home for me. Yesterday, I was all set to post on Substack Notes about giving away a fabulous book called Women Are Angry by my talented new friend Dr Jennifer Cox, who is the co-host of

Women Are Mad with Jen&Salima

. Jen, Salima and I are cooking up some exciting collaborations (stay tuned for that) and I thought, “What better way to spread the word than by sharing Jens book with my community?”

But then it hit me - that familiar pang of doubt. “Oh no”. I thought, “I haven’t asked Jen if it’s ok to plug her book and gift it to someone. I mean, my plan was wholesome, all I was asking, was for people who I’m not yet connected to, to subscribe to my substack for a chance to win the book. Simple, right?

When I mentioned this to Jen, her response was epic and music to my ears. “Are you kidding? I’m THRILLED. It’s such a brilliant idea all round!”. And just like that, a weight lifted off my shoulders.

My conversation with Jen got me thinking, why do we, as women, so often feel the need to ask for permission? Permission to promote each other’s work, to speak our minds, to take up space in the world. We’re not little girls raising our hands in class anymore, waiting to be called on. We’re grown women with choices, ideas, and the power to lift each other up.

Blimey, this topic has really ignited a fire in my belly, we need to discuss this more at length. So much so, I’m going to dedicate a “Journal with Ease” session about it later this month. You’re most welcome to join. We meet via zoom every Thursday at 1pm. Please DM me for the link.

I’m not saying we should throw courtesy out the window. Of course, there are times when checking in is appropriate. But there’s a difference between being considerate and constantly seeking approval for every little thing we do. Don’t you agree?

Think about it - how often have you held back from sharing something amazing about a friend or colleague because you weren’t sure if you should? How many times have you dimmed your own light because you were worried about outshining others?

I know I’m on one today, but I think it’s about time we flipped the script. Instead of asking “Do I have permission to do this?” let’s start asking. “How can I use my voice and platform to uplift other women?” Because when we support each other, we all rise.

So, I’m throwing down a challenge… the next time you’re about to ask for permission to do something that aligns with your values and supports other women, just take a moment to “pause for thought”. Take a deep breath. And then go ahead and do it anyway!

Share that post. Recommend that book. Sing the praises of your amazing female friends. Use your voice to AMPLIFY others. Because when we stop asking for permission and start taking action, that’s when real change happens. I slid into Jens DM’s the other day, to ask her if she ‘d like to collaborate with me, she said YES! What if I had never asked her to collaborate with me, never decided to share her book, it would have been one hell of a missed opportunity.

Remember, we’re not just doing this for ourselves. We’re doing it for every woman who’s ever doubted herself, me included, for every girl who’s been told to be quiet and small. We’re doing it to create a world where women’s voices are heard, RESPECTED and celebrated.

So what do you say about all this?

Are you ready to tear up those mental permission slips and step into your power?

I hope so. Because, I know I am.

Now I’m curious - do you find yourself always seeking permission? What’s the one thing you’ve been holding back on that you’re going to do without asking first? Share in the comments below, let’s inspire each other and be bold, be brave and unapologetically ourselves. As I keep banging on about here on Substack, your voice matters, your story matters. Use it. Share it. No permission required.

Until the next time

Take care and stay safe xx

What’s On 'with ease'

Journal through July - a 30 day journaling challenge over on Substack Notes. Daily prompts and top tips to encourage you to “Rage on a Page”

Creative Unblocking Weekend Retreat with ease & Emma Gannon - only 1 bedroom left available - 16th-18th November 2024

Rage on a Page - you’re very welcome to join the next series of my therapeutic journaling program. I’m looking to work with 6 women and there are only 3 spaces left available. Starting from the 9th September 2024

More Sales Please - a brand new day retreat to blow up the sales in your creative business without the grind, with the gorgeously energetic Sara Dalrymple of The Scoop 27th September 2024

Storytelling with ease & Tim Lott - This day retreat will cover both memoir and fiction.  It will concentrate on the emotional journey of being a writer; but also the practical aspects of how to get your ideas on the page; including creating outlines, generating story ideas and understanding story structure and character development.25th October 2024

Doing Hard Things with ease & Stacey Heale - there is a waiting list for the next retreat later this year - date tbc. Plus, there is a bursary place for one lucky guest.

Digital Detox Weekend Retreat - set in a gorgeous beach house near Pembrokeshire. Join me to learn how to take back control on the amount of time you spend on your device, find new ways to entertain yourself, embrace more positive daily activities and generally feel more upbeat and happier. Guaranteed… coastal walks, cold water therapy, feasting on local produce, therapeutic journaling workshops, reading, writing and plenty of resting! 18th-20th October 2024