Languishing
The quiet struggle of our time
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Apparently if you’re languishing you’re not thriving. Is it just me or is the term “languishing” having a moment? I know the term gained attention due to the ongoing relevance of Covid 19 and the discussions around mental health, but it’s not necessarily a new word. In the few articles I’ve read recently about languishing, it signposts you to feelings of apathy, disconnection and restlessness. Sound familiar?
I first read about the term being coined by psychologist Adam Grant, where he describes languishing as a state of stagnation and emptiness, where one's sense of vitality and enthusiasm for life feels dulled. A sort of heaviness I guess. But what is the opposite to languishing? Is it thriving? I was curious about all of this. I think I’ve suffered from languishing in the past, as have a few of my friends. However, the symptoms of languishing seem very similar to menopausal feelings. Hmmm, food for thought for me and my fellow mid-lifers, are we going through menopause? Or are we languishing? Or are we dealing with it all?!
But my burning question is… how does one flip the script if one is languishing? How do you feel less “meh”? Whilst googling Adam Grant, I found a brilliant article he had written in The New York Times - Feeling Blah - where he describes languishing as being the dominant emotion in 2021. I then came across a book by Dr Corey Keyes, his book was published yesterday as it so happens, and is called Languishing - How to Feel Alive Again in a World That Wears Us Down. A book that might make it’s way onto my ever growing TBR pile.
Maybe just maybe, Dr Keys might have the solution for how, as a nation, we could learn to thrive and not just survive? It seems to me that languishing stands in stark contrast to the concept of thriving, representing a pervasive feeling of disconnection and aimlessness in the midst of our daily existence. It also seems many of us are having to navigate the complexities of modern life, so understanding and acknowledging languishing as the opposite of thriving, could open the doors to new conversations about mental wellbeing and the pursuit of meaning and fulfilment?
As always, when I’m feeling discombobulated by my thoughts, I like to journal about what’s causing my curiosity about a certain topic. So I’ve created a few prompts, if you care to join me, maybe together as we journal, we’ll possibly work out, how to feel less languished?!
Describe what languishing feels like to you. How does it manifest in your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours? Take some time to reflect on specific instances or situations where you've felt this sense of stagnation.
Reflect on the factors or circumstances that contribute to your feelings of languishing. Are there specific events, environments, or relationships that seem to exacerbate these emotions? How do these triggers impact your overall well-being?
Recall moments in your life when you felt deeply engaged and fulfilled. What activities, hobbies, or pursuits brought you joy and a sense of purpose? Reflect on how you can reintegrate these passions into your life to combat feelings of languishing.
I hope you enjoy a wonderful weekend
Until the next time
Take care and stay safe xx
“Languishing may dim the present, but within its grasp lies the potential for a brighter tomorrow."