Finding Stability
Therapeutic journaling as your midlife anchor
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Life isn’t always smooth, as a 49’er with a colourful life story, I know how it feels to navigate unchartered territories amidst the storms of change.
Recently, after a dinner date with a few friends, we sat sharing some of our most recent challenges and traumas since the pandemic, as you do. Some of the stories blew my mind. Not because of what my buddies were challenged with, but how resilient they all were throughout each of their ordeals. Most of them are midlife, so yes you guessed it, each woman had her own horror story about going through the menopause, one expressing “it is like pushing custard up a hill”.
Just as an example, some were understandably fed up with their long covid diagnosis; one friend had been confronted by the whirlwind of divorce court hearings, far too many of them were battling cancer, plus experiencing the profound depths of grief after losing loved ones to the dreaded Big C. We did have some happy positive stories, but unfortunately, they were all shadowed by some level of heartache.
Of course, by the time we were choosing our desserts, I couldn’t help but recommend therapeutic journaling, which has honestly been a balm for my soul, and many other women I know and work with. Thankfully none of my friends rolled their eyes. My bestie has been so supportive, telling me to get on with my mission.
Here’s the thing, after going through a second divorce during my early 40’s, losing my business during the pandemic and striving to manage my finances after being made bankrupt back in 2009, my rage was through the roof. Don’t get me started on the tidal wave of my menopausal state of mind which decided to rear its ugly head last year. So after struggling on with my emotions for years, writing and journaling became a much needed outlet to channel my unwanted anger. Rather than suppress my feelings I began to ‘rage on a page’.
Therapeutic journaling has been life changing for me, so much so I am on a mission to share the transformational power of therapeutic journaling with as many people as possible, especially midlife women. If you’re retentively new to my Substack, I’d like to share some compelling reasons why embracing therapeutic journaling might become your midlife anchor, especially if you’re facing challenging times similar to what my friends are going through.
1. Emotional Outlet - during tough times, emotions can feel overwhelming. Journaling provides a safe space to unload feelings, thoughts and fears onto the page, offering relief and a sense of release. Ever scribbled the word RAGE over and over in big letters across the page. I dare you to try it! It can be so liberating.
2. Clarity Amidst Chaos - when life feels chaotic and uncertain, journaling helps in organising thoughts. For me personally, I write so I can think. It clarifies my jumbled emotions, untangles any complex situations and brings a sense of order to the chaos.
3. Self-Reflection and Awareness - by taking time to journal on a regular basis it prompts self-reflection, allowing you to understand yourself better. It unveils patterns, triggers and areas for personal growth, fostering self-awareness. It was through journaling every single day without fail, sometimes only word word a day that I discovered my ideas for ‘Rage on a Page’.
4. Stress Reduction - in my humble opinion journaling has one of the most calming effects on the mind. So much so it can literally hypnotise me. Especially when I’m journaling using a fast flowing fountain pen. It helps in processing stressors, reducing anxiety and promoting relaxation by channeling your thoughts onto the paper.
5. Problem Solving Tool - through journaling you can explore solutions and brainstorm ideas. Have you ever tried to mind map in your journal? It’s not only fun, but encourages creative thinking. Helps you to find solutions to challenges you might be facing.
6. Empowerment and Resilience - expressing your thoughts and experiences cultivates a sense of empowerment. It will help you strengthen your resilience, which you wouldn’t normally experience if you suppressed your emotions, or even worse, compartmentalised them.
7. Record of Progress - similar to a diary, a journal acts as a record of your journey. It allows you to see how far you’ve come, track your growth, or lack of, and recognise the strength you’ve developed over time. Especially on the back of surviving a recent traumatic event.
8. Safe Space for Expression - in a non-judgemental environment, journaling allows full expression without fear of criticism or misunderstanding. Once you’re given yourself permission to ‘rage on a page’ you will start to feel calmer over time. I dare you to rant all over the page making sure you tell your inner critic to simmer down. Don’t worry about prying eyes, hide your journal, it should be a space exclusively for you.
9. Shift in Perspective - after a few weeks and months of journaling regularly, it will often lead to fresh insights. It certainly encourages a different viewpoint. Sometimes I expose another Tanya, with my journal acting as a mirror. If you can let go, you’ll almost certainly be able to have dialogue with yourself. It really is a fascinating experience.
10. Emotional Healing - through the practice of journaling, your emotions will be acknowledged, processed and in time eventually heal. I preach to healthcare practitioner friends, that therapeutic journaling should be number one in everyone’s wellbeing toolkit. Doctors who have been on my ‘rage on a page’ series, now recommend journaling to their patients. Just saying!
So now you know the compelling reasons why it’s so important that journaling should be a part of your daily routine, here is a simple guide on 'How To Start Journaling’
Step 1 - find a space where you feel comfortable that could be on a park bench, in the car, on the sofa or even in the canteen. You do not need a ‘zen den’ to practice daily journaling. Quite the opposite. If you’re to take up a daily practice for 5-10 minutes each day, you need to be able to journal whilst on the go.
Step 2 - Grab traditional stationery tools - notebook and a pen is what I always advise. It doesn’t have to anything fancy, just something that feels right for you and can travel with you wherever you go throughout your day. Some prefer to use a digital device, especially the notes app on the phone. But to reap the wellbeing rewards from therapeutic journaling, pen and paper all the way!
Step 3 - Start small - write a word, or a sentence each day. Try not to miss a day. Treat journaling as important as brushing your teeth. Make it a priority.
Step 4 - Be consistent - commit to this practice, even if it’s just a few moments at the end of the day. Honestly, I guarantee you that consistency nurtures the journey. I’ve had days where I’ve literally written “I don’t know what to write, I don’t know what to write, I am so lost for words, what the hell is this all about” then closed the journal. After over 1000 days of journaling consistently, I now can’t imagine a day without journaling. Let me know how you get on.
Therapeutic journaling or ‘Rage on a Page’ isn’t merely about writing it’s about embarking on a journey of self-discovery, healing and empowerment. Hey, if it’s not for you, then no stress. I’m not here to convert the unconverted. What I am here to do, is provide you with as much advice, top tips and a variety of useful journaling techniques if you DO want to take the practice of therapeutic journaling seriously. After all, we have just one life, so why not live it well, with journaling as your trusted companion to be a witness to your story. Journaling isn’t magic but my goodness it can be transformational.
Until the next time
Take care and stay safe xx