Beyond the Nest

Parenting milestones in a second gap year

My hero!

Navigating the realm of parenthood is an unending journey, isn’t it?  If you’re a parent I think you’d agree. Just when we think we’ve adjusted to the shifting tides of our children’s lives, another wave comes crashing in, reminding us off the ever evolving nature of our roles.  As my eldest son Archie prepares for an additional gap year - the thrilling opportunity to embrace the snow capped peaks in Austria and don the mantle of a ski instructor - I find myself grappling with a familiar yet nuanced blend of emotions.

The pangs of an empty nest, though not as acute as the first departure, returns in whispers, carrying a flutter of nervousness that weaves through my tummy.  It’s a peculiar sensation, this blend of pride and trepidation.  I want him to go so badly but equally I don’t want him to ever leave. So I’m taking this week to reflect on the journey we’ve undertaken together, navigating parenthood and guiding him towards independence. 

I feel a deep sense of pride, because I think I’ve done quite an ok job as a parent, but what is funny, he's now the one parenting me with his youthful streetwise advice. Yet tucked within the pride, is a sense of wonderment, that I’ve somehow managed the intricate role of being his mother whist still trying to fathom the maze of adulthood myself.  I always wondered where were all the parenting guides back in 2004?? The shelves are now awash with ‘how to parent’, and ‘how not to parent’ publications, almost too overwhelming in my humble opinion. There should be a parenting degree, even a school for learning how to parent, yet somehow we all manage to battle on through, being responsible for another mini human with very little knowledge to depend upon.

There is less than a week to his departure, I can’t help chuckle at the delightful irony of it all.  The realisation that the job of parenting is an ongoing evolution, one where our kids milestones become intertwined with our own personal growth.  I feel like it’s a bittersweet experience. One, I’ll no doubt lean into. I’ll have to accept that I’ll feel all the feelings whilst he’s away for almost 6 months.  It’s the ‘miss you’ moments that are the hardest to bare.  Bless his heart, he has promised he’ll be home for Christmas, part of me wants to encourage him to enjoy the festive season in the mountains, yet I’m selfishly and hopelessly craving his presence at home on Christmas Eve.  Ah well, these are ‘tough love’ moments I’ll have to endure, ones that I never anticipated would blindside me at 49 years of age.

Until the next time

Take care & stay safe xx